Looking for something new and exciting to do this Halloween? Well, it’s almost here — so it’s time to start making plans! On behalf of the residents of Cemetery Drive, I want to personally invite you to our 300th annual Halloween Ball!
This ball has it all. We’ve got a totally chic setting:
I mean, come on — isn’t this place enough to make all your friends drool? We’ve been known to have a murder or two take place here, but it’s really nothing to worry about. And it’s been centuries since anyone was possessed!
But anyway. We don’t really care what you wear; but formal dress is certainly encouraged. Stylish gowns and snappy suits are always appreciated.
If you don’t have anything appropriate, and you’re feeling self-conscious — don’t worry! We’ve got lots of extra clothes that would suit you. Just check your coat at the door, and pick up an outfit! We hope you won’t mind that most of ’em were worn by dead people at one time or another.
Don’t you want to come and dance the night away? All the residents of Cemetery Drive sure to love to boogie; and they’d sure love to boogie with YOU!
If you get a little tired after a few hours of dancing, we’ve got plenty of cozy seating for you to rest your bones in.
Some of it’s a little blood-stained; but we assure you that we scrubbed as hard as we could! If you’ve ever tried to get blood out of a cotton cushion, I’m sure you’ll know what I mean.
And who knows — maybe you’ll meet that special someone while you’re here! The grounds around the manor have plenty of romantic spaces for late-night walks and chats.
Maybe you’ll meet a nice girl who wants to tell you about all the lovely people she’s killed recently! After all, a good conversation is the doorway to a lasting relationship.
And if you really hit it off — well, you might want to take that special girl upstairs, and show her a REALLY good time! We have ample lodging available, just in case that special moment presents itself.
And don’t worry. We sleep like the dead around here — so we won’t hear a thing!
So tell me. Are you tempted by the thought of our Halloween Ball? We hope more than anything that you’ll come to join us. We’re always looking to make new friends — and we promise we won’t bite!
Except for the vampires, that is. I can’t make any promises for them.
Cemetery Drive’s 300th Annual Halloween Ball
Date: October 31st
Time: Begins at 8:00 P.M.
Location: 1000 Cemetery Drive, Graveside, Massachusetts
Drinks and hors d’oeuvres available at no cost to you! (Though you may want to bring your own napkins. Ours might be a little moldy.)
(This is an original piece made with illustrations from Alvin Schwartz’s Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Illustrations by Stephen Gammell.)