Said I wasn’t gonna do a post today — said I was just gonna write instead! But it’s Halloween, and I can’t pass it up. I had been planning to do “The Halloween Cabinet” for days now, but I kept forgetting. Hope you enjoy!
The Halloween Cabinet is not a political association. It’s an old cabinet in my basement filled with my Halloween friends! Wanna see?
My little friends live inside this cabinet. They used to live in my room, but then my room got infested by bees; I had to sleep in the living room; and I brought my little friends down to the basement where I work.
On the top shelf live the Bear brothers: Norman the mummy and Reginald the vampire. (They had different fathers.) They like to keep to themselves, and don’t do a lot of socializing with the others.
On the middle shelf, you can find the “Witches’ Brew” tavern & restaurant. (Most people use it more as a tavern. See the vat of Spooky Spider Cider that they keep around the back? They have to refill that thing like every week.)
In front of the cider bottle, you’ll see Otis the zombie, who’s very lonely, and comes almost every day to talk with Bessie the witch. She’s tried to poison him three times, but he’s so lonesome, he always forgives her. (See her sister calling from the doorway? She’s telling Bessie not to try anything today, ’cause if she gets caught again, she’s going straight to the clink. Officer Wormwood already told her so.)
On the bottom shelf lives Erma Bear, cousin of Norman and Reginald. She doesn’t really get along with them too well, though, and they never visit each other. Their last reunion ended with a fork in the leg (in Norman’s leg; there’s still a bloodstain on his mummy bandages). She lives right next to the mausoleum, outside which Wilbur the werewolf stands guard all day and night, howling loudly and often to the annoyance of his neighbors.
His second neighbor is Franklin Punkinhead, who likes to scare people, and who holds a big “BOO!” sign all the time. Once, he tried to play a scary prank on Erma, and she bashed him over the head with her cauldron. Her little ghost-friend Tizzy thought that was hilarious.
And so — those are the residents of the Halloween Cabinet! I hope you enjoyed meeting them. (But hold on — I’ve gotta run! It looks like Bessie’s trying to poison Otis again. Oh, gee whiz — I think Officer Wormwood’s coming! There’s no rest for the wicked, I’m telling you.)