Elijah: A Very Short Story

Once upon a time, there was a young piglet whose parents had been sent to the slaughterhouse. He was all alone, and he had nothing but the desolate landscape of his thoughts to keep him company.

One day while he was walking through the enchanted forest, he happened upon a mighty panther, so long and sleek and powerful. The piglet was sure that the panther would devour him immediately. And, without doubt, that thought crossed the panther’s mind.

But then . . . a beautiful and delicate fairy drifted down from the White Tree of Magic, and she informed the panther that the piglet was in possession of the purest soul she had ever borne witness to. The panther was a hunter, a merciless killer; and yet, the fairy’s words touched his heart. He spared the piglet, slinking past it on his way to some alternate feast.

The beautiful fairy did three revolutions in the air, waving her ornate oaken wand and sprinkling the dust of her race over the piglet. In less than a moment, he had transformed into a tall and strapping man.

“You are human now,” the fairy said to him. “You shall protect this world from evil and greed. You will live many years, and you will do incredible things. Henceforth, your name shall be Elijah.”

With a flutter of her lace-like wings, she flew down to Elijah and kissed his cheek. Then she disappeared.

Elijah still lives to this day, just as strong and pure of heart as ever he was. He awaits the last battle with steady hands and a patient heart.

Little Red Riding Hood & Dorothy Gale Share True Love’s Kiss

Mainstream television has finally done something that I never thought they would do. They gave a pair of lesbians a heartwarming happy ending.

It took place a couple of weeks ago on Once Upon a Time, in the episode “Ruby Slippers.” Zelena put Dorothy under a sleeping curse, and Ruby traveled to the Underworld in search of Auntie Em. She needed Auntie Em to bestow true love’s kiss upon Dorothy, so that she would wake.

But then Hades — well, he messed Auntie Em up. Bye bye, Auntie Em. Mean old Hades.

Anyway, when Ruby started freaking out about how she was going to save Dorothy without Auntie Em, Snow White suggested that she wake Dorothy up herself. Snow got Ruby to admit that she DID love Dorothy — so finally, she traveled with Snow back to Oz by way of Zelena’s silver slippers, to kiss Dorothy, and save her.

Once Upon a Time had been tinkering with this theme for over a year now, first with Mulan and Aurora, and then (after Mulan got her heart broken by disappointment) with Mulan and Merida. I still think something’s going to come of that whole Mulan-Merida thing. I’m pretty sure Ruby and Dorothy were a test run to see how an expanded story of Mulan and Merida would play out. I sure hope they bring back Ruby and Dorothy, though, because that whole darned thing just brought tears into my eyes.

Well done, Once Upon a Time. I congratulate you on your bravery — and I commend you on a well-crafted and beautiful story (just the same as always).

More Fun & Folly, Brought to You by the Gentleman with the Thistle-Down Hair.

I love Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell — and I hope it never ends.

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For today, though — more “Fun & Folly — Brought to You by the Gentleman with the Thistle-Down Hair.” Here we have a little anecdote about towers — and what might happen if you throw a child out of a window. Follow me, if you please . . .

When they reached the house in Harley-street the gentleman took a very affectionate farewell of Stephen, urging him not to feel sad at this parting and reminding him that they would meet again that very night at Lost-hope. ” . . . When a most charming ceremony will be held in the belfry of the Easternmost Tower. It commemorates an occasion which happened — oh! five hundred years ago or so — when I cleverly contrived to capture the little children of my enemy and we pushed them out of the belfry to their deaths.”

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“Tonight we will re-enact this great triumph! We will dress straw dolls in the children’s blood-stained clothes and fling them down on to the paving stones and then we will sing and dance and rejoice over their destruction!”

“And do you perform this ceremony every year, sir? I feel sure I would have remembered it if I had seen it before. It is so very . . . striking.”

“I am glad you think so. I perform it whenever I think of it. Of course it was a great deal more striking when we used real children.”

Oh, my! And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. More fun and folly, on this the twenty-sixth day of January, in the year of Our Lord two-thousand-and-sixteen . . . as relayed to you by that mischievous gentleman with the thistle-down hair.

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Fairies, Trolls, & Magic All Around.

Sometimes, we all need a little magic. As for me — well, I’m customarily in need of a LOT of magic. I’ve watched Don Bluth’s A Troll in Central Park twice this week. The film is, apparently, “widely considered to be Bluth’s worst film.”

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I don’t get it. TV Guide said that the movie is “pastel-pretty and cloyingly sweet,” and that it’s “strictly for the youngest members of the movie-going audience.”

Hmmm. I guess I’m not very mature! Oh, well.

The movie’s about a troll named Stanley, who gets kicked out of Queen Gnorga’s kingdom for growing flowers with his green thumb. He lands in Central Park, befriends two young children, and eventually ends up having to save them from the evil Gnorga.

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It’s a beautiful movie. Perhaps, you won’t agree with me. Perhaps you’ll agree with TV Guide, and say that it’s “cloyingly sweet.”

But I like things like that. They make me forget how evil the world is.

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A TROLL IN CENTRAL PARK, 1994, (c)Warner Bros.

The movie features one of my favorite songs from an animated film: “Absolutely Green,” sung by Dom DeLuise, who voiced Stanley.

Take a listen to this song, and just see if doesn’t make you feel better! (The YouTuber who made the video, by the way, is very talented; and it’s cut just perfectly. Therefore, I’m honored to include it in my post.)

 

THE LYRICS:

 

I like to close my eyes,

So my heart can plainly see

Right through the way things are

Clear to the way they ought to be.

To somewhere that’s safe, and sunlit and serene,

And absolutely green.

 

Picture a perfect place

Where there is no doom and gloom:

Birds singing happy songs,

And flowers bursting into bloom.

A somewhere like nowhere else you’ve ever seen,

That’s absolutely green.

 

That’s how the world can be if we just want it;

Why isn’t it that way, do you suppose?

Maybe ’cause no one’s concentrating on it —

Just give it love and kindness,

And see how green it grows!

 

Maybe it’s just a dream,

But I know deep in my heart,

If everyone believed —

Believing is the place to start.

We could fill everywhere with flowers,

If each of us used all our powers —

If we all cared!

Is what I really mean.

 

 

We could all live in a world that’s bright and shiny,

And absolutely green . . .

We could all live in a world that’s bright and shiny,

And absolutely green!

 

 

As to the fairies mentioned in the title of this post — I intend to include a poem by Mary Jane Carr. Just to spread a little more magic, you know.

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The wee folk will be tripping,

In their silver dancing shoon,

Ring-around-the-meadow,

When a ring’s around the moon:

 

Curtsy to the right and left,

And curtsy to the middle —

The fiddler will be fiddling

On his tiny fairy fiddle;

 

In and out and round about,

A magic circle making:

The pipers will be piping

Till their tiny throats are aching.

 

Oh, few may watch the wee ones dance,

For fairy guards are spying,

And down beneath the grasses

All the dancers will be hieing;

 

But harken well, what time you see

A ring around the moon;

And you will hear the music

Of the wee folks’ dancing tune.

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Oh, yeah! Feel that magic! Look for that ring around the moon. And, like Stanley said: “If everyone believed — believing is the place to start.”